There are certain words that are weighted with such overwhelming importance, that they ought to be reserved for very special occasions. We should become used to saying "I love you" or "I forgive you" or "I'm sorry." Those words do so much towards creating and maintaining relationships. But, there are other words that need to be used with care.
The other night I presided at a wedding. I love weddings! There are few privileges given clergy, I feel, which equal that of witnessing up close the exchange of promises and the intensity of feeling present at a marriage service. Of course, weddings do bring out interesting family dynamics, for better of for worse. But, whatever else may be going on, when two people commit themselves to each other, until death do they part, that moment takes precedence.
At this particular wedding, the bride and groom made a deep impact on my memory. They were good looking, intelligent, and motivated. But, many young couples fall into those categories. What caught me was the depth of feeling that rose to the surface from the very controlled and analytical groom. He was the one who was always preparing for the future. He invests wisely and plans things out, from work to vacation. But, he never shows an over-abundance of emotion. His bride, on the other hand, is often passionate and spontaneous and, yes, emotional. That night, however, she had no problem sailing through the service, smiling, calm and cool, handing her soon to be husband tissue after tissue, because he stood there and wept.
I wasn't sure he was going to get the words out for the vows. It took tremendous effort on his part to repeat after me. And then, we got to the loaded verse: with all that I have, and all that I am, I honor you. This was so soul shaking for him, I could almost feel the intensity of his effort to say the words. And say them, he did. And he meant them. He was pledging himself to her with no holding back.
I honor you. I hold you in great reverence. I love you more than I do myself.
There were only two times that this 27 year old man had cried since childhood. The first time was in sadness a year previous saying good-bye to his grandmother. The second, because of the great joy in marrying the one person who completed him, was on his wedding day.
Thanks be to God.
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