Some days bring more than their share of sadness. Today I officiated at the funeral of a young man, 18 years old, shot to death by a family member. I didn't know the young man and I barely knew the family. They belong to a different Episcopal church that does not currently have a priest. But, this young man was known to many in the community. The church was full of family and friends. It was also full of a enormous range of emotion.
I think there is a special wisdom in the Great Litany of the Episcopal Church when we pray that the Good Lord would deliver us "from all oppression, conspiracy, and rebellion; from violence, battle, and murder; and from dying suddenly and unprepared." This young man died suddenly and unprepared. For him, his life on earth was ended too soon, yet, he is now whole and with God in heaven. What is left that is so devastating, is the impact his death is having on the people who loved him.
At his funeral, there was naturally, plenty of grief and sorrow. There was a starkness to the expressions on the people in the congregation. And, there was some raw anger. Funerals (and weddings) tend to bring out the dysfunction in families. Where there is unhealed brokenness and unreconciled hurt, this can be overwhelming. Instead of coming together and grieving, members of the family find an outlet to their grief by deepening the alienation that already exists. And words of peace and comfort, instead of providing a cushion for the soul, fall like drops of ice on hard, frozen earth.
This makes me consider, very carefully, the relationships in my own family that are important to maintain. I cannot lay claim to perfection when it comes to family relationships. We are separated by distance and experience. And some of that separation comes from hurt feelings - by things said and not said, things done and left undone. It is often so hard to forgive certain things, not only directed against ourselves, but that which has hurt those we love. However, there is a standard of living to which we are called:
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people (Romans 12:18).
It may not seem to be so important for you today to be in harmony with your family and others close to you. But, life is fragile. We don't know what is coming tomorrow. Maybe we should keep near our thoughts this prayer, also from the Great Litany:
That it may please thee to give us true repentance; to forgive us all our sins, negligences, and ignorances; and to endue us with the grace of thy Holy Spirit to amend our lives according to thy holy Word.
We do beseech thee to hear us, Good Lord.
Comments